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SPOUSE: Someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.
 
If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry
 
WEDDING: A necessary formality before securing a divorce.
 
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
 
My wife and I have an agreement. I don't try to run her life and I don't try to run mine.
 
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.
 
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
 
Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.
 
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
 
The goal of marriage is not to think alike but to think together.
 
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. And that is a good thing for any man
 
Bigamy: Marrying a pretty girl and a good cook !
 
Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse.
 
A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
 
One should always be in love; that is the reason one should never marry.
 
If you want to stay single...look for the perfect mate !
 
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife isn't saying.
 
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
 
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
 
A man who desires to get married should know either everything or nothing.
 
Marriage is the waste-paper basket of the emotions.
 
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.
 
I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
 
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
 
Marrying means to halve one's rights and double one's duties.
 
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
 
Bachelors know more about women than married men do. If they didn't, they'd be married too
 
A marriage is likely to be called happy if neither party ever expected to get much happiness out of it.
 
28 citations