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WEDDING: A necessary formality before securing a divorce.
 
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
 
Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse.
 
Bigamy: Marrying a pretty girl and a good cook !
 
If you want to stay single...look for the perfect mate !
 
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife isn't saying.
 
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
 
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
 
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.
 
A man who desires to get married should know either everything or nothing.
 
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
 
If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry
 
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.
 
A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
 
My wife and I have an agreement. I don't try to run her life and I don't try to run mine.
 
A marriage is likely to be called happy if neither party ever expected to get much happiness out of it.
 
Marriage is the waste-paper basket of the emotions.
 
One should always be in love; that is the reason one should never marry.
 
Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.
 
I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
 
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. And that is a good thing for any man
 
Marrying means to halve one's rights and double one's duties.
 
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
 
Bachelors know more about women than married men do. If they didn't, they'd be married too
 
The goal of marriage is not to think alike but to think together.
 
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
 
SPOUSE: Someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.
 
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
 
28 quotes